Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in xxxmsrycutsxxx's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 24th, 2007
9:12 pm	emotional exhaustion Dear "friends" and part-time boyfriend, You're welcome for all the times I dropped everything to be there for you for however long you needed me. And thank you for nothing at all. Yours Truly, Doormat Poitras Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
10:45 pm	It can never be just right Somethings always there to fuck up my mind. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 7th, 2007
10:57 pm	I miss you I cannot put into words how much this all hurts. The thought of you being "single" makes me sick to my stomache. I don't want anyones arms around you or anyone looking into your eyes. As far as I'm concerned that is my job. I miss waking up to you every morning and kissing you good night every night. I miss you taking me to beautiful places and showing me that life is more than just everyday troubles. I want to take pictures with you in Boston again. I want you to surprise me with flowers when I come out of the bathroom at the Prudential Center food court haha. Most of all I want to make you smile, day in and day out. I won't miss a beat baby. I want you, the original YOU. You are the one who completes my heart. You are everything to me. You are the only man I can picture myself marrying and having children with. If you look into my eyes you will see the truth. I am so fucking in love with you Robert Bragan. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Monday, July 9th, 2007
11:17 am	The one that hurts the most. Looking at these pictures tears me apart inside. It feels like yesterday we were in love and sharing the most fun we've ever had together. I remember the beginning when not even five minutes would go by before you would tell me you loved me over and over again and asking "do I tell you I love you too much?". You know maybe it seemed as if I took it for granted at the beginning because I was scared that you were going to hurt me like the rest of them so I didn't show you as much love as I should have. But not a second went by without me loving you more than I have ever loved anyone before. I don't get how you ever loved me so much like you claimed to and spent the last 1 1/2 years watching me cry over you. I am convinced that you will never listen to people when they point out your flaws and tell you what you do that hurts the people that only want the best for you. I cannot spend the rest of my life trying to get you to see these things that you do that hurt me so much. I was never a perfect girlfriend to you and I will never be a perfect girlfriend to any man but I know damn well that I am a faithful, loving girlfriend to anyone who shows me the same in return. Looking back and thinking about how much time I spent trying to help you and encourage you to chase your dreams; I have never done that for anyone before. I consider myself a good friend to everyone, but never in my life have I dedicated so much to helping someone else succeed. My family practically considered you a part of them. But you have successfully managed to push the one person in this world willing to give up everything just to know you are happy so far away that I almost feel like you've died in a sense. I hope that you never have to go through this same type of pain, whether I believe that you deserve it or not, it is nothing I wish upon anyone. To fall in love with someone and watch the person they truly are inside die more and more everyday right before your eyes is probably the worst feeling in the world. I have had many actual deaths I have had to deal with recently from friends and family members and the pain I have felt lately due to that is unfathomable, but I almost think that watching someone you care about turn into an entirely different soul has been harder for me. The pain is unmeasurable. I can only take with me the memories I have of us that will hopefully, eventually make me smile. We have so many amazing memories; I can honestly say I have shared the most meaningful memorable times with you. In so many ways, for us, the pieces fit just right. It seems that we are always connected in a very special way that is different from my connections with anyone else. Do I think you feel that way? No, because if you did than you would have cherished all the opportunities you had to make more of those memories with me. You would have never changed on me the way that you did. You would have never stopped seeing the good in me that you always told me you saw in the beginning because that good never went away. I would still drop everything to be by your side if you ever needed me, no matter how far or what time. I have to realize for myself now, that I don't have that type of friend in you. I wished so many nights that I would have it, but those wishes never came true, they just caused me more pain. People can wonder all they want why I ever let you make me cry this many times, but these people can never know what it feels like inside my heart for you. These people will never know what we've been through together and everything that we shared. I never thought in a million years that you would take those things away from me; perhaps other people would try, but never did I imagine that it would be you, the one who was my "teammate". I will always miss when it was me and you against the world, but have grown to accept that it's now you and yourself against me and the world. The one thing I will never understand is why you wanted it that way. I was down for you in a way you will be lucky to ever find again. I just wish you never stopped realizing that. I'm not what you want and I was fooled into thinking I was, but I am no longer angry about that, I just hope that you don't decide you want some good-for-nothing skank who has nothing to offer other than a kick-ass blow job and attractive arm candy. I always thought you were into more of an emotional/intellectual connection and if the unconditional love and good conversations that I never stopped showing to you is not enough, than so be it. I cannot change who I am for you. I can only be the best I can be and I think that I have more to offer than most girls and I'm not referring at all to looks. No matter how much I tell you that you have broken my heart, you will never believe me. You will always find a way to blame it on me. I have spent too much time trying to get you to step back and see what has happened here. All you have ever been able to see is my imperfections. I don't even think you have the ability to see your own. And that makes it impossible for anyone to truly get close to you without being hurt in the process. You have made the biggest impact on my life to this day and for as much as sometimes I wish I had never even met you, I know that you are a part of my life that was supposed to be in there. I learned what it is like to truly love someone with all my heart. I learned what it is like to want to do everything to see someone smile. I just wish I had never learned what it is like to feel someone take their heart away from you when you're not ready for it. There is nothing more I can say or do at this point. I cannot change you, I cannot make you love me, I cannot make you see things you are not willing to see. But none of these things will ever have to power to change the fact that I have always been willing to help give you the life you always said you wanted and be the best friend you could ever ask for. If you don't want this, then just say the words and I will walk out of your life immediately and never look back. There will be many tears, and there have already been far more than you are even aware of, but I can only give you what you want and if that is for me to be erased from your life than I will give you just that, despite the pain. As for the love, I'm sorry, but that will not be erased, ever. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Radiohead (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
11:49 pm	I wish you knew I can't even properly describe how you make me feel. I feel like your child, not your friend. Every condescending word that comes out of your mouth hurts worse than the last. If you really truly cared about me, you would never find it so ok to watch me cry. Current Mood: hot (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
8:57 pm	Grandma walk Tuesdays It was really fucking hot today. I still went running. Call me crazy but I'm proud! What the hell is up with ebay and pay pal?! Why is it so damn complicated to sell an item?! I think at this point I would rather pass a kidney stone. This shit is ridiculous. I just want my money and my new phone. I'm tried of getting bent over by Verizon and their bogus charges. Sprint better rock my world. I just realized that I am fucking exhausted with life. Not like I hate life right now because I've seen much worse times and things aren't terrible right now. They are kind of confusing, but really I'm just very tired. Mentally and physically burnt the fuck out. Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Monday, June 25th, 2007
9:07 pm	thank you for not a whole lot and not a whole lot of thank you You have no idea the pain you deliver with every insult, every look of disgust and disappointment. I am not your picture perfect person. I am not allowing you to live your life vicariously through me, and I'm not sorry that it frustrates you beyond your limits. You are you and I am me and you cannot ever accept that. Differences in this life are what makes the world beautiful and you are too busy living in this one-dimensional universe where we are all the same fucking people. We should all be PTA members. We should all be members of M.A.D.D. We should all marry rich men and live in gorgeous neighborhoods where everyone competes for who's got the nicer lawn. I don't think that there is anything wrong with any of that. But all the money and luck in the world wouldn't change the person that I am and that I've always been. I don't know why you want me to be a different person. It fucking hurts. Why can't you love me for who I am. I am a person who has been through more in 23 years than most people have in their whole lives and I've come out strong and a better person than I've ever been. I could have stayed a drug addicted, homeless loser panhandling for a pack of butts. All I want is to get my degree and make something of my life. I want to be happy and achieve my dreams and I'm doing so in the best way I know how so why do you have to judge me? Why can't you support me and encourage me? I don't think you've believed in me for one day in my life. I'm tired of you making me cry day after day. I hate walking by a room and hearing you call me stupid to one of your friends on the phone. Would it even bother you to know that I cried so much that night? How are you not affected whatsoever by the look in my eyes every time you cut me down? You of all people know that I struggle to be happy on a daily basis; that I have to beat bipolar disorder and stay motivated. You don't understand it though. You don't even try. You're too busy thinking about money 24/7. You don't even know what I deal with. Do you ever wonder why I'm so thin? You used to make fun of me when I was heavier. You yourself have anorexia. Yet you make me feel like an idiot for being like you. I don't understand. I am not healthy and all you can do is yell at me for not going to med school, but instead pursuing my passion. I can't even turn to you, my mother, you do not accept me as your child. You break my heart. Current Mood: disappointed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
10:07 pm	It's still you No matter who I meet, how many hot guys I see, whoever gives me attention, it's still you baby. After all is said and done, you are still on my mind all the time. No one can take your place. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
4:37 pm	I'm doing myself like you told me to. You make it all so hard for me. You want me to love you, but you hurt me emotionally. You want me to find you attractive but you've let yourself go. You don't even take care of yourself anymore. Who's going to take care of you? I can't be with a man who is not a man. I can't hold your hand anymore. You're right, I should just take care of myself, but where does that leave you? I don't even want to imagine what you would be like without me. And that is sad. You want to be so independent? Then figure out how to run your life like a respectable human being. Or you could just get fat and disgusting and lose all motivation for success in life and die of a heart attack at 35. Sounds harsh but sometimes the truth is harsh. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
2:37 pm	Chapter.....whatever I feel like an animal stuffed in a cage it can barely fit in. One of the weirdest ways I have ever described a feeling but it's really the best way to describe it right now. I'm in Massachusetts, where I've been pretty much all my life. I'm living in a city where I don't know anyone and the city isn't nice at all. I live in a house that is quite a bit different than what I grew up in and not in a good way. I'm working two jobs where somedays I work 15 hours straight and I STILL don't get paid enought to afford my own apartment or afford much of anything for that reason. There are so many things I want that I can't have, but this time it's not clothes, shoes, handbags, etc. I want my own place. I want to go back to school. I want to get a couple minor cosmetic surgery jobs that are nothing big just a couple little things I have always wanted to fix because my self-esteem is at a pretty big low. My car is almost at 43,000 miles and I want to sell it by the time it hits 50k so it will actually have some value to it and I'd like to get something nice (like a white Scion TC!). I'd like to have the money to go out and do things sometimes. And maybe some of those things will cost a little more than what I usually spend but it would feel nice to have the money. I NEEEEED to go on a vacation!!! I want to go back to New York and I want to go to California. Shit I want a lot. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 31st, 2006
4:01 pm	2006 Good-bye 2006. You sucked. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
9:50 pm	Sad day to break the good silence Life really has a cute little way of slapping you in the face the minute you stand up straight. Sometimes the only person to blame is the person you see when you look in the mirror everyday. I think that's the worst. I think I'd much rather have someone do something to me than to do something bad to someone. I know that I am human and I know that everyone makes mistakes, but my god I am sick of hearing that pity line. Note to all: the "everyone makes mistakes" line does not make anyone feel better about themselves. Well, I am quite tired of making these mistakes; it's repeatetive and self-destructive. I would like to take a mistake-making break. Can I do that? Hmm...something tells me that might be a long shot. So how does one trust someone 100%? How do we break down the walls that all the assholes, the bitches, the mean people built? And why is it easier for some than it is for others? Do we have like a "trust" piece in our brain? If so I wonder if it's on the left or right side because whichever it is would not be my dominant side. I could sit here for the rest of my life and blame all the people who hurt me for the reason why I can't trust anyone, but this excuse is getting boring to me and I'm sure it is getting boring for Rob. I'm annoyed by the fact that I am "damaged goods" and that although I have an amazing bf I can't seem to let go of the past. People are going to be people whether they are good or bad or just a little confused. People are going to continue to hurt each other whether it be intentional or not. At times I truly believe that the acts of hurt caused by people are not intentional; that because we as humans aren't perfect therefore leaving none other than room for mistakes at the cost of others. I try to think this way because it is depressing to imagine this world full of shit-hearted pricks. And lord knows I need not have any more depression than I already have. I don't think that we all have the ability to classify ourselves as cold-hearted and self-centered or genuinely well-intentioned people who just fuck up sometimes. And I also think that the latter can fuck up more than just sometimes and still be good people. Where I would normally self-loathe I will say this about myself: I know that I am a genuinely good person who makes a lot of mistakes and even some end up hurting others. I actually think I hurt others far more than I should but my intentions on those I care about and even respectful strangers is nothing short of positive. In fact I think if anything I spend so much time trying to make other people happy that I let myself come last which could totally be reversing my trying to please others. Shit...I'll continue this tomorrow. Current Mood: crappy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 19th, 2006
10:55 pm	isbkjbsicugo I feel like my brain is rotting in my head. I can no longer make any rational decisions for myself anymore. What used to be right doesn't seem right to me anymore. I have never been this confused in my life. Well, maybe I have, but if so, it's been a really long time. I would think that at 23 years old I would know what I want with my life but I feel like I'm still as lost as I was when I was 15. I spend the majority of my time daydreaming of what my life should be like and pulling my hair out trying to figure out the quickest most efficient way of getting there. I have been sick for almost 2 weeks and I know it's from stress. I never get sick and if I do it's for like 2 days. My life has come to a screeching hault and everything around me is moving at the speed of light. Here I am just sitting here letting life pass me by, minute by minute, hour by hour...kill me. I am not alone, but I feel so lonely. I am in no-mans land with no one but myself and whatever strength I struggle to have left. I feel like there's not much left of me to give. I am an empty soul who wakes up everyday and just lives like the day before and the day before that and doesn't change and doesn't have the motivation to change. What the hell happened to me? Has my relationship drained me of everything I possess inside of me? Should I stay? Should I go? Should I keep on trying and not give up in the name of love or should I run away as far away as I can get from the pain that comes so often? I feel like I am outside of myself, watching myself fail and cry and scream for help. It is almost too hard to watch. I always forget to take my meds and I don't want to eat anymore. I want to be anorexic again so I can be in control of some small portion of my life. At least once everyday I feel like collapsing. I feel like all I can do is sleep. I can barely cry anymore. Slowly but surely my emotions are fading and I am becoming myself 4 years ago. I am scared. That is the one emotion I am sure that I have left and I am living scared 24/7. I might need your help. Yes, yours. Current Mood: indescribable (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 28th, 2006
3:26 pm	I held on for so long I'm pretty convinced that this is the end. You'll never change back to the way you used to be. It was either an act or you just don't love me anymore. Just say the words and put me out of my misery. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 27th, 2006
6:56 pm	frozen Why are you taking away everything you gave so graciously to me? Why am I not good enough to love anymore? You need me to be perfect, well I'm sorry, I am Heather Marie Poitras and if you don't like this person then leave me. You've cut wounds so deep they will never heal. You take my heart and you spit on it on a daily basis. And then you tell me not to be sad. What the hell is wrong with you? How do you expect to say horribly mean things to me when I do nothing but love you more than life itself to sincerely smile when the pieces of my heart are withering away? You took a broken girl and begun to mend her into a beautfully happy woman. You promised me you'd never hurt me. You promised me you'd never change. You promised me you'd never leave and that you would stick by me with patience through the hard times. You've managed to break all of those promises and more. You call me a liar when I have been faithful to you, honest with you, and loyal to you since day one. No matter all the words you cut me with and the cold, hateful stares that were once passionate and loving, I still continue to be 100% dedicated to you and us. I will never forget the way you used to look at me with all the love a person could possibly have in their eyes. And I felt the same. Don't you remember that feeling? Don't you remember that happiness? Or have you completely forgotten all the amazing memories of times we shared just like you've forgotten who you are? It's sad to watch you turn into this angry, hateful person. You are the furthest thing from the person I fell in love with. Stop telling me you love me when you don't feel it in your heart. Stop doing and saying things just because you think it's the right thing to do. Do them and say them because you mean them. You don't love me like you used to and I know that everytime you say it, you mean it less in less. Everytime you say it there are tears in my eyes because it doesn't sound the same and it doesn't feel the same and I cannot possibly describe to you in words what that does to me. The only way I could ever show you is by ripping out my heart and handing it to you on a silver platter. You've taken away all the innocence that I worked so hard to get back after my last relationship. Thanks. I've given every last breath, all of me, to you. How could you see me the way that you do? Why did you change? WHY?! You were amazing, you really were. Or is this you? The real you? Do you do this to every girl you date? Do you shower them with presents, act like a gentlemen, and sweet talk your way into their pants until they fall in love with you, you get sick of them, and move onto the next pussy that looks good? If that's the case then shame on me for being such a fucking idiot. But I'll tell you, you do a fine job of manipulating innocent people. You really know how to shit on the lives of those who try to do nothing but help you. You want to blame me for everything you do? Fine, do whatever it is you have to do to convince your jaded little mind that you are perfect. In the end all I'll really need is the satisfaction of knowing that you were wrong and that I gave my all to you and you kicked me in the face. That will be what gets me by. Every tear I cry over you makes me stronger when you are trying to make me weaker. You'll be the one to lose in the end because you'll be alone once everyone realizes how selfish you really are. Stop acting and be yourself. Be yourself from the beginning; don't lead people to believe you are something you aren't. It's not fair. But then again you wouldn't really care about that because it's not YOUR feelings, it's someone elses. Do whatever makes you happy. If it's hurting people and only living for yourself, so be it. But when you realize how fucked up you are (if you ever do), you'll be crying to no one because one by one people are seeing you for who you are. And if you ultimately screw me in the end I'll make for damn sure that everyone knows you so that you can't destroy people anymore. This world has enough shitheads living in it; yours is not necessary. I've given you 23986406 chances to prove to me that you're the person you were a year ago and so far you've failed miserably. So good luck babe, this is your last chance with me. You chose your fate. You can either spend your life with someone who will love you til death or you can try and find the "perfect woman" (aka one with giant knockers who keeps her mouth shut until it's time for your dick to enter) who will never EVER love you the way that I do. I know what you should do, but I can't make your choices for you, I just wish you the best of luck. "We fight hard but we love harder" 9/26 "Baby-oh!" Camryn Bragan California New York "Lips" Baja Fresh (Jordache) 99 I love you. Forever. Current Music: Josh Kelley (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 9th, 2006
8:55 pm	First day at work Today was my first day at Sephora. It was a long day and I shouldn't have worn heels but that's all I have for black shoes right now. Everyone's wicked nice. The job is pretty easy. I just hope that they keep me after the holiday season and move me to either color or skincare. I am way too over-qualified to work in fragrance since I have my estheticians license. But hey, it's a foot in the door. I have to work tomorrow and Wednesday 12-8pm and Fri. 10-4pm. Thursday I'm getting my hair done! I am so nervous to go dark. A little piece of me doesn't have the strength to do it! We'll see once I'm sitting in the chair at the salon! Saturday is my brother's homecoming game under the lights. I'm pretty excited about that. Other than that I have no clue what is going on this weekend. It's only Monday; what do I care? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
3:27 am	How everything gets fucked One day you can have the whole world in the palm of your hands and the next day it's nothing but a memory. And why is it that while we're with a person we remember so many bad things but once their gone all we can think of is the good? Why is it that the harder we hold on the easier we lose grip? The more we push the harder we fall? I don't see the sense in any of this even though it is ordinary life. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 2nd, 2006
5:44 pm	ok let's talk Let me start off by telling a little story. Last night I was going downstairs to get a trash bag so I could clean up the kitchen and I could hear Rob and his mom arguing about some stupid bull-shit (nothing knew). As soon as I walked in the room I heard his mom say "Heather is just like Aunt so and so (I don't know her name)". Let me explain why this is terrible. This "Aunt" person is some lady that their whole family thinks is a psycho, loser, bitch and they all hate her. She supposedly does some pretty scummy things to her family (the "Aunt"). So when I heard that comparison I was like "holy shit wtf". Rob just looked at his mom and said "good job mom she just heard you" and he stormed off. I went upstairs and started packing my stuff because I don't want to live with people who are nice to my face but secretly hate me. I stopped and sat down and cried while Rob tried to console me, but I think he was probably embarrassed as all hell that his mother could be so retarded. I know I would be. First of all I would be delighted to know how this woman, who has never tried to get to know me at all, gets off saying that I'm at all similar to some psycho bitch broad. I have done nothing to her or her family in a negative manner. If anything I have tried my hardest to be nice to her and to talk to her even though I know she is a flake and we have nothing in common to talk about. It's my boyfriends mother, I have to respect her. But not anymore I don't. I really can't believe people. Why is it that people cannot seem to EVER get out of high school? To see middle-aged women constantly gossiping about people, the same people they are nice to when personally interacting, disgusts me. What's worse is the majority of the people they are talking shit about are people they barely even know. They either hear things about them or just skim the surface of who the poor, defensless victim really is. Cowardly if you ask me. How can you say terrible things about someone you know nothing about. You might as well start hating everyone who wears red shirts or has blonde hair because that's about how ignorant all this shit really is. I understand not everyone has all the time in the world to get to know everyone they meet before they pass judgement, and I'm not even saying that it's wrong to pass judgment because passing judgement is normal, it's human nature and we all do it. What's separates the good from the bad is that some people keep whatever they're thinking in their minds while the others like to open their big mouths and spout out exactly what they think about someone. And once you do that you start a chain reaction of ignorant people (because you know you're gonna tell the next person what you heard and they're gonna be dumb enough to believe it too). Because these days people believe everything people tell them about someone. You hear "so and so is a real slut" and then the next time you see them you remember that person telling you that she's a slut and you look at her differently than you would have had that person never told you. Well, that person probably said that just because they don't like her! The "slut" could end up being someone you really connect with but how would you ever know because you spend your life being a follower of all the ignorant shitheads in the world. Congratulations, your brained is owned by other people. I wonder how that must feel. Well, now that I got that out of my system... If I didn't completely hate it here before, than I definately do now. I feel completely uncomfortable being here knowing that the people I live with think poorly of me. It's freezing and dirty in this house and I am constantly miserable and sad. I spend the majority of my time alone here because Rob's Mr. Band Man now and it's only going to get worse in 2 weeks when he starts school. He'll be in school Mon., Tues., Wed. night and Thursday he'll have his band practice thing. So that leaves a whole 3 days to see him during the week for the next year and a half. And that's only if he chooses to spend those days with me. And it also leaves me alone with nothing to do and no one to hang out with too. Yay. I can barely contain my excitement. The ONE positive thing is that I got a job at Sephora so hopefully that will consume some of my time since I have no life. But unfortunately it's only part-time and the pay is kinda shitty so inevitabley my life still blows. If I stay here the only way I'm going to keep any type of sanity is by working all the time and making as much money as possible. And even then I'll still go insane by working so much. There really is no upside to any of this. I think I'm completely forgetting what it's like to be happy. I'm going to be 23 in 2 weeks and I feel like an old grumpy bitch who needs to be put out of her misery already. I might as well take up knitting or bingo. Fuck. Current Mood: lonely (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 24th, 2006
11:44 am	everything is messy I can't bear to relive some of the events I have experienced in the past year. I never want to feel the emotions of pain and hurt and sadness that I have felt so strongly. I don't know how to get them to go away. How do you live when the same person that makes you happier than you've ever been can also make you feel the worst you've ever felt? I close my eyes and hold on so tightly wishing that today I will not cry. Today I will be appreciated. Today I will feel worthy. Today I will be loved they way I used to be. Some call me foolish for waiting and waiting and waiting, but I call it love. Hard love that makes me weak and makes me strong. Is there such a thing as "normal love"? I don't think any love can really be described as "normal" and maybe I strive too much now for what is considered "normal". It's like I want "normal" but I don't. I want excitement and I want spontaneity. I want adventure and I want laughter. I want romance and I want friendship. I need you the way you were. I can't have you the way you are. My heart is a mess for the words I can't forget you said to me. With every angry emotion comes a hurtful paragraph of lies about me, the person you are supposed to know. I have been you're #1 for this long and still you cease to love true love.... There is more, so much more to this in my mind but I am too tired to think and too sad to feel. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, September 22nd, 2006
8:18 pm	Im pumped! Finally I found a television series I think I could really get into. I watched the series premier of "Six Degrees" last night and it was awesome! I love the concept and how it is like the movie "Crash". I am so excited to watch it every Thursday! (For those of you who don't know when it's on: Thursday 10pm channel 7...watch it!) Current Mood: excited Current Music: Rob playing guitar (2 Comments |Comment on this)